


Frozen Feet

by Kisuru



Series: Fictober [3]
Category: CLAMP - Works, Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fictober, Fictober 2019, Fix-It, Happy Ending, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 20:04:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21021497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kisuru/pseuds/Kisuru
Summary: The dimensional portal opens but Subaru can't move. Seishirou is there. Wasting their lives running away from Seishirou is not the life Subaru wants Kamui to endure. Even if he must betray his trust and let him go, Subaru will set them on new paths for the future.Fictober day 3.Prompt: Freeze





	Frozen Feet

**Author's Note:**

> “Freeze” probably isn’t what you would picture for this fic. I imagined Subaru freezing up before the twins leapt dimensions. Wanted to see what might come out of it with Seishirou there. 

The rainbow edges of the dimensional portal swirl before him. The blue center beckons for him to race through it to the next destination on the map, the furthest location that time and space can spirit them off to for another night’s safety.  
  
“Subaru? Subaru!” the voice calls above the wind. “Come _on_! He’s behind you!”  
  
The screams jolts him back to reality.  
  
Kamui’s claws are extended, yellow eyes narrow and bright as they turn to slits. He snarls at the space behind his brother. He is ready to leap at the hunter and drag his brother to the portal’s safety.  
  
Subaru freezes in his tracks. It should be like every time they travelled so far! Now is the time he grabs Kamui’s hand and they tumble through the fabric of time. Dimensional terrain is abrasive, bumpy, and unbalanced. They need each other. Without Kamui, Subaru has nobody to follow, or a purpose to push forward.  
  
Subaru steps forward.  
  
He almost trips. Subaru catches himself with his hands grasping at empty air.  
  
His foot, despite his brain sending scolds to his feet to budge, defies his orders.  
  
A sense of deep lethargy spreads from his heart and seeps into the rest of his body.  
  
His dream is right behind him. Why would he leave him? When he was _right_ there?  
  
Subaru is tired of fleeing. He is dreadfully drained after the stress of dimensional jump after jump; it was an endless loop of uncertainty and pain. He doesn’t know how long into the future, or how many worlds, they will transverse to escape.  
  
All the time in the world is at Subaru’s fingertips. He is a vampire, and he can survive for thousands of years. What is the point if it’s all a waste of his life?  
  
What am I running from? he asks himself, as he does each day. The simple answer is Kamui’s happiness. It isn’t happiness. And they all lead to the same outcome.  
  
“I’m sorry, Kamui.” The prickle of hot tears well up in Subaru’s eyes. He doesn’t bother wiping them; this is the last time he will see his brother. He can’t squander a second of it. He must imprint the look of his twin’s gaze on him into his heart so he will never forget. “I… am cruel. You have been at my side for this journey. We have been together since we left home. As children. The years in Tokyo.” The film of tears completely clouds his eyes. “I—I am thankful to you for staying with me. But this is not happiness. It cannot be. You’ll find happiness. I know you will. I hope we can meet again someday.”  
  
“What are you saying!? _Subaru_!“  
  
The portal closes around Kamui’s ankle. He struggles to pull away, but the magic is too powerful for a frantic pureblood vampire to overcome. The blue creeps up his leg, and then towards his stomach and chest, and he is soon swallowed.  
  
“No, don’t let him trick you. Don’t—!“  
  
His voice echoes into nothingness. The portal rises high, quivers, and a sparkle of light fractures where it once floated.  
  
Seishirou skids to a full stop on the hard ground. He takes long, wistful breaths, the train of his cassock fluttering in the breeze of the magic’s wake. He nearly does not believe his own eyes. Subaru stands before him without obstacles to thwart their reunion. For the first time in years, he is plagued with astonishment. When was he ever this fortunate?  
  
“You were adamant never to leave him,” Seishirou says, dusting the particles of dust from his clothes. Speaking to him makes his throat dry. He hadn’t thought of what he would say. “You choose to?”  
  
Subaru’s head tilts. He glances over his shoulder. His lips purse. The past image of his own blood falling into Seishirou’s mouth that day returns to him. The song of his blood, so undeniably a sin he can’t mend, in his veins makes him dizzy.  
  
Sharing blood isn’t simply short-lived. It is a connection that never is broken.  
  
“The long journey wears heavily on Kamui,” he says, gaze downcast. He can only settle on Seishirou’s chest. He can’t meet his eyes properly after abandoning him. His throat constricts with a mix of fear and suspense, and his heart beats faster within his own chest. It beats the same olden blood Seishirou lusts for. “He worries every day. He overexerts himself for my sake. Nothing I say makes him relax. I can’t force him to fear forever.”  
  
Seishirou huffs. He is the same as the day they met when Subaru saved him. Ever thoughtful for the people he cares for, yet he is undeniably insensitive.  
  
“I was forced to follow in your footsteps for years without a break, or knowledge you cared for me. You have proven the opposite, however,” Seishirou says dryly. He uncrosses his arms from his chest, recovers from running for miles. It must speak it aloud; he had thought Subaru turned cold and distance deliberately. “Did you not think about how I, starved for blood, faired? Dying for only you?”  
  
Instinctively, Subaru’s claws unsheathed. Whether he sought protection or reveled in his own anger for leaving Seishirou to fend for himself, he doesn’t know. He was not innocent in that regard. He had left Seishirou to die and ventured with his brother until the threat was eliminated.  
  
That was what the last thing Subaru has wanted for Seishirou to endure alone.  
  
To Subaru, he anguished every day that Seishirou would in fact die. He almost envied him—he would die because of him. Subaru would think of him and have the relationship he had caused him in his mind for years and years. Keeping him alive in his thoughts was a kindness. Seishirou wouldn’t have to suffer then, as he originally had needing his blood.  
  
Vampires only understand that feeling.  
  
“I thought I would never see you again. That was my worst fear,” he admits softly. The words are raw on his tongue, brittle as the blood of a several hours dead kill the blood had stopped flowing through.  
  
“I should believe you?”  
  
“I am here. I have nowhere else to run away from you,” Subaru says simply.  
  
Seishirou eyes him suspiciously, and then he breathes contentedly. As a hunter he can tell when his prey is ready to spring a trap—Subaru’s posture and expression do not predict that betrayal. He is truthful.  
  
Arms wrap around his middle. Subaru leans into Seishirou’s chest, sighs, mind in disbelief he is frivolously drawn to him. In a renewed burst of emotion and urge, he is attracted to the faint scent of blood under his skin. The smell of his scent is distinctly Subaru’s—his blood potent and manic. The pulse of blood begs for sweet tastes of it. But, no, that would come.  
  
Even back then, he had been ready to stay and make the pact of their blood a true one. Such an emotion is unheard of for a vampire of his caliber. Instead, he had abandoned to see whether blood between family or his own hunter was thicker than their society’s teachings.  
  
Kamui’s face flashes in his mind’s eye. His pleads of weakness to honor their semi-peaceful lives scorns him. He is selfish. Kamui’s feisty need to protect him had been all for naught, however; they had put their hearts and souls into each other’s well-being and he shattered it.  
  
But they would never meet if fate had any say in it. If they met in the future, it wouldn’t be for many, many worlds. The dimensional time streams would need powerful wishes in order to line up.  
  
Would he trade more of his own blood to Yuuko for Subaru’s sake again? Perhaps.  
  
Subaru closes his eyes in bliss. His feet slide and crunch the sand under his shoes. He finds purchase against the solid chest that holds him up. _Find a place to be happy and live, Kamui. Return to our home world, Thrive there._ _You are strong, and you have a future ahead of you. As I have my life here. We must move on._  
  
Seishirou’s hand lands on his face. The willowy, deliberate fingers stroke his chin and the bottom of his lips. Subaru shivers. His claws dig into his arm on reflex and hang on. The stark warmth on his cool skin makes him almost feel on fire.  
  
Seishirou opens his mouth. He pushes aside the wide collar of his shirt and the black silk of his dust-blown cloak. He shrugs his shoulder, offers a fresh patch of porcelain colored skin. Seishirou’s teeth sink in his flesh and breach the long-awaited resistance of his veins.


End file.
